Letter to the Virtual Tea Towel Museum


Dear Curator,

I need your help, desperately.  I am unhappy.  I am being mistreated.  Please help me.  I was a gift to my owner from her niece, Barbara.

I have a white background and lots of different cats on me.  Long-hair fuzzy ones with red hats on, short hair ones, ginger cats, grey ones, black spooky cats; some looking snooty and cheeky.  I have balls of wool to play with.  I’ve eaten the fish, only the bones are left.  Also on me it says ‘Best Friend’.  ‘Best Friend’ indeed‽  

I’m leading a miserable life.  I’ve been shoved in a drawer in the bedroom.  It’s only been opened twice since Christmas.  I am resting on a T-Shirt, next to a miniature tea service (my owner thought it was Wedgwood, but it’s made in China.  That wiped the smile off her face!).  The best bit to come is that on top of me is an electric blanket; it’s hard to breathe!  She says I’m too pretty to be used, and I agree, but I would like a more sociable lifestyle.

I know three possible friends come from Primark: there’s a dark and grotty looking one, a brown one sits on the spin dryer and another sits on the Grandfather chair (which is over 90 years old), underneath Tilly.  That one is full of red poinsettias on a white background.

Amanda is taking a picture of me.  I hope the creases won’t show.  When I come back home, I’m going to beg to be allowed to stay downstairs in the drawer with the ‘grotty’ ones.  It will be nice to have friends to talk to and I don’t mind what they look like.

Dear Curator, can you help me?

First, the creases do show on the photograph, or actually photographs.  I think Amanda must have been a bit anxious about taking your photograph which does show she cares.  Maybe she will be on your side when you go home and she can persuade your owner to allow you to stay downstairs.  Your owner needs to understand that tea towels are for using, for wiping up dishes, for hanging in the kitchen looking pretty (and it sounds as though you are very pretty).  Getting downstairs, into the kitchen, sounds like a good place to start.  If you are on hand, then she will see you every day.  You will have friends and, maybe when Lockdown is finally over, your owner will go back to Primark and buy some nice new friends for you.  I do have a couple from Primark, with horses on them; maybe I’ll send them to your owner!

Good Luck and I hope you make some ‘Best Friends’.

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